Trump Uses Shutdown to End Public Housing
Trump Uses Shutdown to End Public Housing
Schuh races to bulldoze and replace with condos
Annapolis (SPP) – City and County leaders responded with both horror and glee to a decision by the Trump administration to use the government shutdown to end Federally funded public housing in America.
Citing the inability to pay for upkeep, the Trump administration announced today that it was unable to safely run the units. Accordingly, all public housing units will be bulldozed and auctioned off to pay government debt. The White House stated that they had received private funding from the Koch Brothers and Sheldon Adelson to bulldoze all public housing units in the country.
Annapolis Mayor Gavin Buckley called an emergency press conference where he denounced the actions of the Trump administration, calling them “heartless and cruel.” Although he conceded that he was powerless to stop the move.
Anne Arundel County Executive Steve Schuh, on the other hand, said he was “delighted” at the decision. “I hope to have high end condos where Harbor House is. All the sites will be auctioned off to the highest bidder. This is going to bring in a ton of tax revenue for the City of Annapolis and the County. We should be able to both improve services and lower taxes for all our citizens, except the ones leaving.”
Schuh announced that the County had a plan to give every resident of Public Housing a free bus token to leave town, “hopefully to Baltimore City or beyond,” he said. He then immediately grabbed a sledge hammer and headed out the door to meet with the demolition crews.
While protests are expected, the Trump administration announced that they were calling out the National Guard to make sure the process goes smoothly.
